3, 2, 1, 0, 1, 2, BRAZIL!!!

Happy New Year everyone :). It sure has been a while since I last wrote and shared my life with you. A lot has been happening on the relationship front which has of course been exciting. And there are some new traveling plans to announce. The headline gives "a bit" of a hint.
I guess I could also talk a bit about the aftermath of my re-launch. There isn't that much to say, really. Only that it has been AWESOME time in my life, but somewhat dulling too. I'll tell you more later.

So. Yes. I will be going to Brazil! I've longed to travel to South America for some time now but lately I have been suffering from a big obsession on Brazil. It even got to the point that instead of reading my usual popular science or feminist books, I was spotted at work with a Brazil travel guide in my hands. People started asking me if I' m going to Brazil and I said that unfortunately I'm not. But then my traveling feet started getting a bit restless. Adriano, the Brazileiro I mentioned here a couple of times ages ago, was telling me that he's going home in the beginning of this year and I thought....hmm...maybe I could go and visit.

So I put in a holiday request at work. Got it approved. I looked for cheap flights on the Internet. Found them. Booked them. My first plan was to fly to Sao Paulo as Adriano's farm is located sort of close but now I'm flying to Rio. So exciting! I'm staying for two weeks. Spending some days in Rio with my friend, Sander. Then heading down the coast on my own. Making stops in the smaller coastal towns and finally I will end up in Sao Paulo. I will spend a crazy gay clubbing weekend there :D and then head back north to Rio.
My mother is panicking slightly. She really doesn't want me to go anywhere in South America. She's saying it's too dangerous. I know that it can be dangerous  but I really do think that as long as you don't do anything stupid, you'll be quite safe. Of course you can always be unlucky! But that sort of thing can happen in London too.

Maybe I'll write a few lines about Christmas and New Year. I got my heart broken right before Christmas so I decided to spend my days off alone. I had the whole house to myself, which was absolutely lovely. I ate a lot of bad stuff, watched movies and cleaned. Roa moved back to India in the beginning of December and I took over his room. It was a bit of a mess tho because of dampness. It's the worst room in the house because two walls are halfway underground. I bleached all the mold, changed the order of the furniture, got rid of a lot of stuff. I have a new double bed now and I just need a bookcase and then it will be done :). I really, really like the room!
So anyways, all the hard work with the room and the comfort food and being able to be alone really healed me and I started feeling so much better. I think some people felt bad for me when I told them I was gonna be ALL ALONE over Christmas. But I'm not a Christmas person anyways. Of course I love getting presents! But I doubt I'll really celebrate Christmas until I have kids of my own.
New Year's celebrations are a bit overrated in my opinion too... But they do throw amazing parties during that time! We were supposed to go to Fabric for NY but couldn't get tickets online anymore. We wanted house music but ended up going to Fire with a drum'n'bass party. It was amazing! I've had a d'n'b obsession ever since! Pendulum! :D (they were NOT playing at Fire, so don't get excited)

Around the time of my birthday I re-launched myself as a London Party Girl. I've had some really good times at clubs. I found out that even for such a sports outcast as myself true happiness IS found in movement. Dancing to really good music can sometimes be orgasmic.
I've been going to Heaven a lot on Mondays when they have an electro house night. I really loved it but now that I've been introduced to Fabric, Heaven doesn't feel like it's all that anymore. The dj's are sometimes a bit lame... But...it is SO cheap. Fabric feels sickly expensive. I mean just the fees to get in for a poor girl like me. Heh. Good thing I don't really drink anymore. Couldn't afford that even if  I wanted to :).
Still many clubs to explore! Like Beyond. Some day... :)
But yeah, I mentioned that it has been somewhat dulling too. That's not really because I find parties dulling or anything like that. It's just that I don't go to places that much anymore. I don't explore London. I don't go to museums or galleries... I didn't do that that much anyways, but sometimes yes. Maybe summer will bring something new. It's not very exciting to go out at this time of the year. I miss hanging out in the parks, by London Eye, in the beer gardens.

Should I write about the boys now? I don't know if I feel like gossiping. Maybe just a bit. I'm not seeing Adriano anymore. I just didn't see the relationship going anywhere. I am still looking for a boyfriend. Looking for someone serious. And I think he was in it just for the fun of it. Just dates every now and then but nothing serious. It's okay. I can see where he's coming from. I didn't get hurt this time :).
I fell in love with someone just a while ago. And I thought he wanted to be with me. He gave all the signs, he said all the words. He cared. And he sulked if it seemed like I didn't care. Tho I did. Very much.
But then right before Christmas he told me he doesn't feel ready for a relationship after all. That crushed me. I was crazy about him. And it has been a LONG time since I was crazy about someone. There hasn't been anyone like that since Seb. Oh well, love and let go. I told myself it wouldn't have worked anyway. I poured some hate over him, refused to talk...but during my Christmas break we started talking again a bit. I saw him in Heaven on boxing day and we danced together for a while. So I thought maybe this will end up okay and we can be friends and I'll just get over the hurt. But now...he said he wants me back. And I'm so confused. He said he was wrong and he thought he wasn't ready but he is. He needs me. But how can I trust him? He seems to change his mind a lot.

And then... Something's been cooking ever since last spring. But I won't talk about that now. ;)

X

BIRTHDAY / Men / RE-LAUNCH

I had a fabulous birthday! Couldn't have wished for anything more. Roa and I spent Saturday afternoon at Broadway market finding good picnic things to eat: delicious, soft, crusty bread, tasty spreads, mouth-watering cheese, fantastic mini cup cakes in raspberry, chocolate, grape and salty caramel flavors, apples, olives...YUMMY! I also bought four bottles of sparkling from Sainsburys and the most amazing thing of all: I was able to get a bottle of Absinthe from my local Brick Lane off licence. I was quite certain I wouldn't able to get my hands on that as it is a bit of a rarity and I didn't really have time to go and find a real liquor store. I heard there is a place in Soho that sells it for sure and I tried to look for it a bit on Friday before my hot date, but I'm not very good at navigating through Soho and it was rather late...so I gave up.

I really, really wanted to get Absinthe so we could mix it with the sparkling wine and get totally, fabulously, deadly fucked. I should have bought two bottles....but dang! it was very expensive. 

I think everyone reached a level of beautiful drunkenness nevertheless and our picnic at Highbury Fields, under a lamp and darkness surrounding us was full of laughter (and random grins whenever someone sipped their drink). The weather was perfect. Hot day, warm night.

We ended the celebrations at Joiners Arms which only a few of us were able to reach. And even fewer were able to dance until the end.

Sunday was spent resting. What a bliss!

I didn't care to make an announcement here but you perhaps have realized that me and Albi are no more. A bit of gossip if you're interested: he didn't want a real boyfriend-girlfriend-relationship with me so I decided I'll go and look for something else. If only it would have been so easy. It ended up in a lot of drama from his side and apparently I am the asshole now. Just because, you know, I dared to go on a date with someone else AND! I answered his messages with a friendly note so... I was leading him on...? WHAT?

Oh well. 

I have been very popular lately, going on a couple of dates and getting a lot of attention. And I love attention :)! But still what I really want is a boyfriend and I am expecting everything to happen right now! Please!

We'll see.

According to my plan I have one year left in London. Having so much fun last weekend and going clubbing this week's Tuesday made me think of becoming a London Party Girl for real :D. A sort of re-launch of 'identity'. I might be having an early age crisis.... But I could just club,club,club this year and become decent again when I turn 27. (ew)

I had A third date with A Brazilian man yesterday. We went to the cinema to see Warrior. So good! Tom Hardy is A god! We went for dinner in china town, lovely fried tofu with chili and black bean sauce. And then best of the best: he took me to Heaven so I could wear my new gorgeous dancing shoes, and he himself did not wear shirt, and he doesn't need to. He's a gorgeous boy :)!

Today: my birthday picnic at Highgate! I'll be soon off to Broadway market to buy some good food for my guests. And I need to find Absinthe so we can drink Death in the afternoon. I just have no idea if anyone anywhere close by sells that... I shall investigate.

London has been hit by Indian summer! I love it! And such a perfect timing for my birthday too. :)

XXX

I just did some exercise and it was terrible :). I've lost some weight since I came to London due to better eating habits and cycling to work and just being on my feet all the time. Now I think it's time to tone up a bit because I feel really wobbly and I really don't like that. Some days I feel like this is the perfect size for me, some days I feel like I could still lose a kilo or two but whatever I decide to do or not to do, the belly needs to go and thighs... don't get me started on that!
My problem is that I'm really bad at getting into the routine of doing something else than just reading and eating crisps. Sometimes I watch telly and eat broccoli, tho.
I love raw broccoli! I've become obsessed! :D

Some time ago I was complaining about my skin and how I'm starting to look old! And then I blogged about the miracle cure: the Angelica line by l'Occitane. Just wanted to update on that(everyone's interested) that my skin is looking so much more radiant and beautiful now! I don't think I look that old either and I don't have big blemishes anymore! I still have some small ones but as I have quite a delicate skin and I live in a super polluted city in the end I'm really happy with the result :).

I went traveling this summer, but I don't feel like writing about it... :( I don't know why, but I just don't feel like it. I think there are two reasons why I haven't been updating for some time: 1. I'm really lazy when it comes to writing. 2. I've felt that I really should tell you about my trips, but just couldn't be bothered and so didn't feel like writing.
Just to let you know: I had an amazing time :). Especially in Cadiz. I'll try to post a photo or two at some point... We'll see.

In Ireland I got this idea of moving to Limerick and studying equine science. I had that idea for a while but now I got my old fire for physics back. I have a dream of going to Chile and working with the huge telescopes! But that is still years and years away. I just need to fight my way there! :)

My heart belongs to Kerry

Midnight Sun

Brighton!

Saturday night Jens got the king of all ideas: "Let's go to Brighton tomorrow!" And for sure we did!

How long have I wanted to go to Brighton? I don't even know. Probably since I first heard of the place. It has always seemed glamorous, like Nice! Like Nice for the poor :D! I have been to Nice and now I've been to Brighton and actually they remind each other a tiny bit. Well, duh, they're both cities built on the beach and they have the promenades and the palm trees and the cute parks.

The day was perfect! Hot, sunny (altho when we arrived there was heavy fog rising from the sea. We got rid of it in the end.) and just a tiny gush of wind to cool you down every once and a while. I saw the Brighton Pier, I bought a Brighton rock and I swam in the sea! I don't think I've swam in the sea since New York...and that's like...ages ago.

Wish I'd have pictures to show you guys but I haven't got a smart phone.... And can't be bothered to carry my camera as it doesn't always focus on things I want and acts a bit retarded.
I'm gonna get the LG smart phone! Maybe this week if possible. Would be nice to take photos from Helsinki and post them here!
And then I could take pics from Brighton when I go there again. Hopefully next month! I hope that the weather will hold. Yesterday was the first day of summer it feels. It's been dreadfully cold here for weeks and weeks. Today it's very very warm but cloudy. Feels impossible to breath sometimes. I'm hoping there will be a massive thunder storm tonight! And after that more sunshine, please!!! I want a tan!!!!! :)

I think I might want to move to Brighton... For real. I'd like to live close to the sea. I miss it.