Happy New Year everyone :). It sure has been a while since I last wrote and shared my life with you. A lot has been happening on the relationship front which has of course been exciting. And there are some new traveling plans to announce. The headline gives "a bit" of a hint.
I guess I could also talk a bit about the aftermath of my re-launch. There isn't that much to say, really. Only that it has been AWESOME time in my life, but somewhat dulling too. I'll tell you more later.
So. Yes. I will be going to Brazil! I've longed to travel to South America for some time now but lately I have been suffering from a big obsession on Brazil. It even got to the point that instead of reading my usual popular science or feminist books, I was spotted at work with a Brazil travel guide in my hands. People started asking me if I' m going to Brazil and I said that unfortunately I'm not. But then my traveling feet started getting a bit restless. Adriano, the Brazileiro I mentioned here a couple of times ages ago, was telling me that he's going home in the beginning of this year and I thought....hmm...maybe I could go and visit.
So I put in a holiday request at work. Got it approved. I looked for cheap flights on the Internet. Found them. Booked them. My first plan was to fly to Sao Paulo as Adriano's farm is located sort of close but now I'm flying to Rio. So exciting! I'm staying for two weeks. Spending some days in Rio with my friend, Sander. Then heading down the coast on my own. Making stops in the smaller coastal towns and finally I will end up in Sao Paulo. I will spend a crazy gay clubbing weekend there :D and then head back north to Rio.
My mother is panicking slightly. She really doesn't want me to go anywhere in South America. She's saying it's too dangerous. I know that it can be dangerous but I really do think that as long as you don't do anything stupid, you'll be quite safe. Of course you can always be unlucky! But that sort of thing can happen in London too.
Maybe I'll write a few lines about Christmas and New Year. I got my heart broken right before Christmas so I decided to spend my days off alone. I had the whole house to myself, which was absolutely lovely. I ate a lot of bad stuff, watched movies and cleaned. Roa moved back to India in the beginning of December and I took over his room. It was a bit of a mess tho because of dampness. It's the worst room in the house because two walls are halfway underground. I bleached all the mold, changed the order of the furniture, got rid of a lot of stuff. I have a new double bed now and I just need a bookcase and then it will be done :). I really, really like the room!
So anyways, all the hard work with the room and the comfort food and being able to be alone really healed me and I started feeling so much better. I think some people felt bad for me when I told them I was gonna be ALL ALONE over Christmas. But I'm not a Christmas person anyways. Of course I love getting presents! But I doubt I'll really celebrate Christmas until I have kids of my own.
New Year's celebrations are a bit overrated in my opinion too... But they do throw amazing parties during that time! We were supposed to go to Fabric for NY but couldn't get tickets online anymore. We wanted house music but ended up going to Fire with a drum'n'bass party. It was amazing! I've had a d'n'b obsession ever since! Pendulum! :D (they were NOT playing at Fire, so don't get excited)
Around the time of my birthday I re-launched myself as a London Party Girl. I've had some really good times at clubs. I found out that even for such a sports outcast as myself true happiness IS found in movement. Dancing to really good music can sometimes be orgasmic.
I've been going to Heaven a lot on Mondays when they have an electro house night. I really loved it but now that I've been introduced to Fabric, Heaven doesn't feel like it's all that anymore. The dj's are sometimes a bit lame... But...it is SO cheap. Fabric feels sickly expensive. I mean just the fees to get in for a poor girl like me. Heh. Good thing I don't really drink anymore. Couldn't afford that even if I wanted to :).
Still many clubs to explore! Like Beyond. Some day... :)
But yeah, I mentioned that it has been somewhat dulling too. That's not really because I find parties dulling or anything like that. It's just that I don't go to places that much anymore. I don't explore London. I don't go to museums or galleries... I didn't do that that much anyways, but sometimes yes. Maybe summer will bring something new. It's not very exciting to go out at this time of the year. I miss hanging out in the parks, by London Eye, in the beer gardens.
Should I write about the boys now? I don't know if I feel like gossiping. Maybe just a bit. I'm not seeing Adriano anymore. I just didn't see the relationship going anywhere. I am still looking for a boyfriend. Looking for someone serious. And I think he was in it just for the fun of it. Just dates every now and then but nothing serious. It's okay. I can see where he's coming from. I didn't get hurt this time :).
I fell in love with someone just a while ago. And I thought he wanted to be with me. He gave all the signs, he said all the words. He cared. And he sulked if it seemed like I didn't care. Tho I did. Very much.
But then right before Christmas he told me he doesn't feel ready for a relationship after all. That crushed me. I was crazy about him. And it has been a LONG time since I was crazy about someone. There hasn't been anyone like that since Seb. Oh well, love and let go. I told myself it wouldn't have worked anyway. I poured some hate over him, refused to talk...but during my Christmas break we started talking again a bit. I saw him in Heaven on boxing day and we danced together for a while. So I thought maybe this will end up okay and we can be friends and I'll just get over the hurt. But now...he said he wants me back. And I'm so confused. He said he was wrong and he thought he wasn't ready but he is. He needs me. But how can I trust him? He seems to change his mind a lot.
And then... Something's been cooking ever since last spring. But I won't talk about that now. ;)
X
